In just about 9 hours time, 2011 will be dawning upon us! So darn excited about this year because of what’s in front of me. I’m flying off for real this time round !!! WOOHOO!!! Finally have that break from this life I’m leading here. My mum asked if I will want to return here, if I settled down there, honestly, I really want to start a new life there, so my answer is no. I’m not going to return to Singapore if I can settle down there.
Anyway, that’s a little too far ahead to be thinking of…HAHA! Just ended a crazy party with a few of my close friends. Drank like crazy !!! Surprisingly, I’m the sole survivor of the group !!! I managed to stay sober throughout the entire process and managed to put the drunkards into bed before I head for my “water bed” (Inside joke).
All I know is what kept me from breaking down like everyone. I have stay strong. Keep those tears inside me till everyone is knocked out before letting myself out. Honestly, never teared so much in so many consecutive days before in my life. LOL! Deep down inside, I just wanted to shout out loud, “I’m not fine !!! I’m fucking sad !!! I fucking hate you !!!” But of course thank God for my brains and a high alcohol intake level, I didn’t. It really did felt better. I’m glad how things are turning out now and frankly speaking, I’m seriously over it. I’m just glad things didn’t turn out as ugly as I thought it might.
As usual, as long as that person is happy, I’ll be happy, whatever it takes. Be it being called names about it, be it having to silence myself, be it having to give up so many things, I’m willing. Because in the end, when you really fall for a person don’t you just want to see that person happy ? If you just want that person for yourself, then I guess it’s just being selfish and not really loving that person right ?
As the Bible goes,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails …”
I don’t really care what others are telling me about what that person did or said about me to others to protect whatsoever anymore, because in the end, love never fails. I’m just really really glad we’re friends now, like finally a closure to this episode.
I just want to concentrate on my studies now and also paddling !!! I believe things will get better as time goes by because it always does. I don’t look at what’s placed in front, I look even farther. I see a bright future ahead of me !!! Not going to waste any moment in the past !!! LOL!!!
School’s starting on 4th Jan. Saw my schedule, it’s CRRRAAAAZZZZYYYYYYY, like seriously !!! But well, packed schedules means lesser time to think more time to feel. HAHA!!! Only thing I need to worry about now is the loan that I need to take up for the trip. Don’t exactly know how to go about it, but I believe God will show me the way !!!
Recent events has reignited my passion for Christ or at least re-strengthen my faith in God. Because during this period of time, I head His voice the loudest in my heart. Guiding me every move I make, helping me to forgive, showing me the way to true love. To protect.
But honestly, good guys usually finishes last, and somehow I’m fine with it, because at least in the end, we still do reach the finishing line. Life isn’t a race, it’s a journey we take. I prefer mine to be in a better state which everyone knows me for a nice guy. A great guy. A loving guy. I’m all ready but where’s my partner…? I don’t know but I’m sure I will get the best ! =]
So darn sleepy…Eyes are in the shape of a thin line. LOL!!!
Thank God for the fruitful day and strength He gave me to get through this ordeal!!! AMEN!!! SLEEP!!!
Filed under: Happy-Ones, Life-Ones, Love-Ones
