Let it dwell.

For now, just let this song be that of an emotion I can’t seem to express anymore…From 200 pounds beauty, a korean flick.


Stars

Param-kyori cha-ngeu-rheun-teul-go
(the wind is shaking the windows)
nae kiman-han cha-gun naye bang wi-ro
(and over my small room,)
arum-taun-ke pyul-bit-durun
(the stars fill up the sky) )
kaduk chae-wo-chuneyo
(shining brightly too many to count)
sel-su-obshi manhunt pyul-tu-reun
(the stars reassure tired me)
ji-chyo-in-nun na-reul oru-man-chimyo
(shining brightly too many to count,)
nae mam-soge katok tamun nun-mul tak-ka shu-neyo
(that are deep inside me)

Bridge:
man-hyi apa-ha-ji-ma
(don’t be hurt too much..)
nal kkung anun-chae tado-kyojumyo
(they hug me tight and pamper me)
chal-jara wero-hae ju-neyo
(and comfort me,telling me to go to sleep)

Chor:
goshi mo-thal man-kum hime gyowa apa-wado
(though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk)
nun-muri a-peul kar-yowado
(though my tears blur my vision)
gatchi-mothan nae sarang apedo na usul-lae-yu
(even if Love’s not meant for me)
cham-shira-do gyote
(I will keep on smiling)
haeng-bo-khaet-don giok-turul
(Even though our happy times were short)
ga-sume gan-ji-khal-kkeyo
(I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart)
tunune sunoh-a-jin cho pyol-deul-cho-rom yongwonhi
(like those countless number of stars, forever)

II.
kkumul kku-deut taka-uneyo
(My dream is coming.)
yu-nu-nhi-do balkun naye byol hana
(though it is unusual that my one star is bright)
nunbu-shi-mi panjja-gimyo
(it is very bright, even blinding..)
okkae-wiro naer-yo-wa
(it comes down to my shoulder)

B2:
jakku sulpo-hajima
(stop being so sad..)
son kkong chabun-chae nal manchyo-jumyo
(it holds my hand as it touches me)
tta-seu-hi nal kamssa-shu-neyo
(and gives me a warm hug)

End Chorus:
na onul-manun anu-royunun-muri kadokchowado
(Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears)
chogi cho byol-deul-choromna u-seul-lae-yo ooohhhh
(I want to laugh like those stars)
haeng-bokhaet-don giok-modu
(Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments)
ga-sume gan-ji-khal-kkeyo
(deep inside my heart)
tunune sunoh-a-jincho pyon-deul-cho-rom yongwonhi
(Like those countless number of stars, forever)

Filed under: Emo-Ones

So far…

Ok, so far, life’s pretty shitty. My mind is that of a woman’s mind now, thoughts are EVERYWHERE. Trying to settle them properly into their individual boxes. WHO MOVED MY BOX THAT CONTAINS NOTHING ?!

Anyway, currently I’m actually pending a pes status of E9L9. Don’t bother asking me how I actually got it/or not yet, because I won’t give you tips. MUWAHAHAHA! =p
After so many months of “ironing my bed-sheet” I’m being whisked into ISM office. My job-scope involves being sandwiched, area-cleaning, inspection, “disciplining” of the APs under me and basically, getting screwed every single morning. Yes, LITERALLY EVERY!

But well thinking on the, hopefully, what seems to be a more positive side, at least I’m heading somewhere finally. But to be honest, I don’t really want to have that sort of responsibilities hanging over me. Not that I’m lazy, but it’s just not at this time of my life and definitely not in NS. I just want to sail through it and finish with at least certain good memories.

To be honest, I’m contemplating if I should just ask my friend to whisk me over to E-Learning side which I’ll probably be doing something I MIGHT enjoy more which is media. Another reason would be because I don’t like to hold such an authority over people’s lives, especially when they’re FUCKING RETARDS (I’m not saying all are…just a few, probably a handful.. ok, it’s some…LOL!) It’s like as if I’m responsible for their stupidity. It’s kind of sucking my life away.

And I realised, I’ve lost the work-life balance. I’m thinking of how to curb the problems when I’m in the bus, when I’m in the shower, everywhere I go I’m thinking about work. Damn!

But enough about work, I want to talk about something more important. Recently, I noticed something about myself. I think I’m becoming another person. I’m beginning to be more practical and nasty. I don’t know if it’s because I’m being put in a position which is forcing me to be one. And I actually asked myself, “Am I really that hard to be with…?”, “Why am I still single…?” Definitely not being desperate here…LOL! Because if I really am, I would probably found more. =p I can afford to but I don’t want to. NOT BRAGGING!!!

Have I change my life principles…? About love, about communication with other people, about integrity and even about honesty. To be honest, ever since I left church, I’ve definitely become much more evil in terms of thoughts, actions are taking shape though. Evil in the sense I want to make people pay. Evil in the sense I manipulate others thoughts. Evil in the sense I input fear into others.

Thinking through all these, I realised what’s the root issue. I’m afraid – afraid of getting hurt. So my defense mechanism would be to strike first before the damage is done. I don’t know why but it seems like a very natural thing to me now. Frankly speaking, I don’t like me now. I want to change my life drastically.

Ok, this post is kind of mind draining. I want to sleep! to be prepared for more action tomorrow!!!

Hush Hush.

Filed under: 1 , evil, Life, love, natural, work

It’s everywhere.

Natural disasters are everywhere. Can’t help but to feel a little empathetic for those hit by Mother Nature.
I believe this is a very clear warning from Her that Earth is taking too much shit from us and She’s now striking back.

So far the list goes on…

Japan – Typhoon Melor
Indonesia – Earthquake
Taiwan – Typhoon Morakot

The most devastated country will be Philippines. After being hit by Typhoon Ketsana, Super Typhoon Parma gives it another shot.

All in all, I’m trying to say, while we’re worrying about our little problems in life, others are fighting for their lives. Guess it’s important we realize how fortunate we are.

Let’s all pray for the people who are facing calamity in their lives right now. God Speed…

Filed under: Life-Ones , mother nature, typhoon

Dead.

Suddenly felt that my blog is dying…Getting a little lazy to update.

Filed under: Life-Ones , laziness

Partly Cloudy

Love how Pixar uses simple things to create a whole new meaning. Enjoy =]

Filed under: Life-Ones , partly cloudy, pixar

Rearrangement!

Need to rearrange certain things in my life now, e.g. iTunes Library, contact list & etc.

Got a new lousy phone today. (Nokia 5030) features…radio and TOUCH LIGHT! Planning to save up for a camera hopefully by end of next year I’ll have a DSLR!!!

It’s my second day on the iTunes and I’m just only in the middle of ‘J’ …

Gotta sort out my contact list tomorrow in camp. LOL!

Beauty sleep here I come!!!

Filed under: Life-Ones , iTunes, phone

Inspirational.

Filed under: Life-Ones

Live an honest life.

Filed under: Happy-Ones, Life-Ones

Giving up on religion.

Watch this and read on.

*Just a disclaimer in advance that whatever I’m about to say is just a point of view from myself and does not contribute to any insults, tarnish of reputation to whichever organizations or person or putting down of any other religion.

I think it’s time religions of this modern era reflect upon their ‘doctrines’ and redefine the meaning of salvation. Apparently to what I’m told salvation means accepting God into your life, correct me if I’m wrong. What can happen to them by accepting God into their lives? They find food lying on the ground? What does it mean when we help to bring others into salvation? Does it mean bringing them to our place of worship? Or helping them to live a life?

To be honest, I feel rather guilty having whatever I have now, the clothes, the computers, a shelter over my head and most of all the food. All in the same time while I’m enjoying myself in this part of the world, there’s suffering like what’s shown in the video above. It’s rather saddening that often we would contribute to our places of worship to build a bigger facility, to have more of the latest technology and to accommodate more people and etc. All in the ‘idea’ of bringing more people into ’salvation’.

Do we need such add-ons? Does it mean if we bring in more people in our places of worship meant that these people, these people who are suffering half way round the globe, will they have food right in front of them?! Why can’t the money be used for such purposes? What is the definition of REACHING OUT these days, please enlighten me…? Because somehow what I’m getting these days is, “Look, I’ve great sound system” or “Look, I’ve big halls!” and to wrap it up, “You must come and see ok ?!” Why don’t these organizations/religions use the money for such luxuries to really REACH OUT to those that really need the help…?

Why only preach but not act upon it? Don’t tell me I have issues. This world has greater issues. Those people have more real issues than mine. I’m not contesting against any beliefs rather I’m trying to give another perspective of reaching out. I’ll never ever think or even believe that God doesn’t exist, but I’ll never ever buy the idea that I need to give my money to build a bigger place of worship so that more people can have salvation whilst others still suffer.

Frankly, I’ve given up on religion. Nope not going back to church anymore. But I’m definitely not an atheist. I still believe God created this world and I also believe God didn’t put suffering into this world so that we can doubt Him, but instead, I believe He wants us to see something higher and much more deeper than that. I believe He wants us to see Love.

No matter how much we try to stop ourselves from sinning, it’s going to continue to happen because as humans we lack the ability to show the true love of God. So people who go to all these different places of worship, I hope you’ve realized where I’m heading to.

All I want to say is, show love where it’s needed to be shown. Spend the money where it’s right. Salvation doesn’t just ends when God enters our lives. It’s meant to be passed on to real people with real issues. Don’t buy love. Build love.

All in all, I may not be going to church to follow Christ anymore, but I’m definitely a follower of Love. And to love means to believe in God. This is just my own definition after going through so rounds of debating with myself on what’s really THE TRUTH…

Filed under: Life-Ones , God, love, salvation, truth

Miracles Happen!

Medic course got postponed somehow. So…I’m spared! MUWAHAHA! Yet again I survived! But now I really gotta make proper plans for the coming year remaining in NS. Goal – To be a medic spec!

Meanwhile in stagmont, I shall try to avoid as much responsibilities as possible! HA! That’s just a day of drama in my life…

Stay tune for more =p

BUY A NEW PHONE!

Filed under: Happy-Ones, Life-Ones , miracles, phone